How We Judge People

A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam.

He called his parents from San Francisco.

“Mom and Dad, I’m coming home, but I’ve got a favour to ask. I have a friend I’d like to bring with me.”

“Sure,” they replied, “we’d love to meet him.”

“There’s something you should know the son continued, “he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mined and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live.”

“No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us.”

“Son,” said the father, “you don’t know what you’re asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can’t let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He’ll find a way to live on his own.”

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him.

A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. 

 They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn’t know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don’t like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren’t as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are.

My Cruel Mother

I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate
candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I 
to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also.

But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two
brothers are in the same world as I did.

My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. 

I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?

The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night
and up at eight the next morning for Fajr . The next day we couldn't sleep till noon like our friends.

She would make us to Offer Salah, gave moral islamic education and taught Quran. Sometimes my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.

She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.

By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running.

NO dating and sleepovers with friends

Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie
in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends
had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.

As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put
to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.

My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four
children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did.

She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults. Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three
children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my
children call me mean.

Because, you see, I thank ALLAH Taala
He gave me the "meanest" mother in the whole world.

And I love her more than anything.

The Two Pots

THE CRACKED POT

Once there was a water bearer in India with two large pots, each hung on each end of a
pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in
it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion
of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house,
the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only
one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. 

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for
which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own
imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of
what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a
bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.


"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."


"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"


"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.


The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."


Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.


The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side?


That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them.


For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But find strength in our flaws.


In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste.


So as we seek ways to heaven together, and as God calls you to the tasks He has appointed for you, don't be afraid of your flaws.


Acknowledge them, and allow Him to take advantage of them, and you, too, can be the cause of beauty in His pathway.

Go out boldly, knowing that in our weakness we find His strength.

"In Him every one of God's promises is a Yes."

THE OBSTACLE IN OUR PATH

 

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.

Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. 

As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand.

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition. 

Believe in God, he won't give you a test that you couldn't bear. As long you have faith in Him. keep trying and He shall reward you. 

Cherish

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.

We should not let time slip through our fingers without having 
spent some time with those who really matter to us,
those close to our hearts.

You can easily find money,
but it's hard to find someone that loves you,
and willing to give everything for you.

If we die tomorrow,
the company that we are working for
could easily replace us in a matter of days.

But the family and friends we leave behind
will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it,
we pour ourselves more into work than to our family. 


"Loving family and good friends are worth more than anything"

‘The friends shall on that day (of judgment) be enemies of each other except those who guard against evil.’(Zukhruf : 67)

Brick Wall & Beautiful Scenery

There were two men, both were seriously ill, and occupied in the same room in a hospital.

One man was allowed to sit up on his bed for an hour each afternoon, so that he can drain the fluid in his lungs. Next to his bed there was a window, the only one available in the room.

But the other man had to spend all his time laying flat on his back.

Each day both men talked for hours. They spoke about their wives, jobs, homes, their involvement in military service and where they had been on vacations.

Every afternoon, the man who stayed next to the window would kill time by telling his roommate about all the things he can see beyond the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those an hour period where his world would be broadened and enlightened by all the activity and colour of the outside world.

The views from the window were described beautifully, with a presence of blue lake where ducks and swans swimming happily on the water and children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked while holding hands with the colourful flowers grew scattered around the ground and the stunning city skyline could be seen beyond the horizon line.

As the man next to the window described all the exquisite details, the other would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his eyes as his friend described it beautifully. Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, a nurse arrived to bring water for their bath found that the man by the window had passed away peacefully in his sleep. She was sad and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it was appropriate, the other man asked the nurse whether it is possible for him to move next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure that the man was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, the man propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look on the real world outside. He strained slowly to turn looking out the window next to his bed.


It faced an empty brick wall.

The man asked the nurse what had compelled his deceased roommate to describe such beautiful things outside his window. The nurse replied that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making someone else happy, despite your own miserable conditions. 

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but when happiness is shared, it is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count the things that you have which money couldn't buy.

Temper

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily, gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said “you have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there.

Make sure you control your temper the next time you are tempted to say something you will regret later. 

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah’s Apostle said, “The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.”

Struggling

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.

But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened!

In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

---

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

Everyone's Looking For Perfection

…There’s an old Sufi tale of Nasruddin, the wise fool, sipping tea in a cafe with a friend. Their conversation turned to love.

“How come you never got married, Nasruddin?” asked his friend.

“Well” replied Nasruddin, “to tell you the truth,I spent my youth looking for the perfect woman. In Cairo, I met a beautiful and intelligent woman, with eyes like dark olives, but she was unkind.


 Then in Baghdad, I met a woman who was a wonderful and generous soul, but we had no interests in common.


One woman after another would seem just right, but there would always be something missing. Then one day I met her. She was beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind. We had everything in common. In fact, she was perfect”

“Well” said Nasrudin’s friend, “What happened? why didn’t you marry her?”

Nasruddin sipped his tea reflectively. “Well,” he replied,”It’s a sad thing. Seems like she was looking for the perfect man.”

Love and Sacrifice

There was once this guy who is very much in love with a girl. This 
romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to her.

Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his
future didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until 
one day, the girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come 
back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the 
both of them, so they both went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he 
worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make 
something out of himself.

Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had
set up his own company ...

You never fail until you stop trying.


 One rainy day, while this guy 
was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain 
walking to somewhere. Even with the umbrella, they were still
drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were the girl's
parents. 

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the 
couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them
to know that he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car,
condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was 
walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and
followed...and he saw the girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as
ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right 
beside her... 

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They
explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with
cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not 
want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him. 
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. 

She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day 
comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those 
back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may
escape but what's in your heart will remain forever. 

The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting 
right beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her
ever again.........hope you understand.

 

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to 
you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you 
thought meant nothing to you.

Consideration

One day, a ten-year-old boy went to an ice­ cream shop, sat at a

table and asked the waitress, “How much is an ice-cream cone?”

 She said, “seventy-five cents.” The boy started counting the coins he had in his

hand. Then he asked how much a small cup of ice-cream was. The waitress

impatiently replied, “sixty­ five cents.” 

The boy said, “I will have the small ice-cream cup.” He had his ice-cream, paid the bill and left. When

the waitress came to pick up the empty plate, she was touched.

Underneath were ten one-cent coins as tip. The little boy had

consideration for the waitress before he ordered his ice-cream. He

showed sensitivity and caring. He thought of others before himself. 

Life is a Gift

Today before you think of saying an unkind word–
think of someone who can’t speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food–
think of someone who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife–
think of someone who is crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life–
think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children–
think of someone who desires children but they’re barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house, someone didn’t clean or sweep–
think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive–
think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job–
think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another–
remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answer to one maker.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down–
put a smile on your face and thank God for what you have.

Life is a gift – Live it, Enjoy it, Celebrate it, and Fulfill it.

Things in Life

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty glass jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, until the top of the jar.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They all agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. 

The rocks are the important things – your Deen, your family, your friends, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Educate your children. Take time to do charity. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

The students nodded in awe. Then, the professor poured water into the jar until it was really full. 

"Now, who can tell me what this water represents?" The professor looked up, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

A student stood up from behind the crowds. 

"No matter how busy we are, always make time for a drink with your friends."

A Glass of Milk

One day, a poor girl who was selling goods from door to door to pay her way through school, found she had only one thin dime left, and she was hungry. She decided she would ask for a meal at the next house. However, she lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal she asked for a drink of water. The woman thought the girl looked hungry so she brought her a large glass of milk. She drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?” “You don’t owe me anything,” the woman replied. “Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness.” She added.

“Then I thank you from my heart.” The girl nodded as she smiled softly.

As the girl left that house, she not only felt stronger physically, but her faith in God and human was strong also. Before this she had been ready to give up and quit.

Year’s later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. W.T was called in for the consultation. When she heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled her eyes. Immediately she rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in her doctor’s gown she went in to see her. She recognized the woman at once. She went back to the consultation room determined to do her best to save her life. From that day she gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. W.T requested the business office to pass the final bill to her for approval. She looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to the woman's room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She began to read the following words:

“Paid in full with one glass of milk”

Signed, Dr. W.T